Without turning this into a celebrity bashing tirade, I thought I’d ponder the recent scandal that has Disney hiding teen hoe wannabe Miley Cyrus in a closet somewhere away from the public. By now everyone knows about the picture of her draped in a blanket with her back exposed. It’s not really the naked back that’s a big deal, although some guys DO have a back fetish, but the fact that, to take that photo, we assume she was topless during the photo shoot.

Now, a good imagination is at the core of many porn or sex fantasies, so I can only imagine what some people might think. I prefer to leave the sex fantasies to the perverts out there (you know I still love ya, “Daddy”!), and imagine in my own mind how that photo came about in the first place. I think the scenario would go something like this…

Annie (the photographer): Miley, hun, can you take your top off? I’m a lesbian and I havent seen any smooth young teen skin in awhile. Do be a dear and show us your tits!

Miley: Uh, I guess it’s ok, if you just take one pic…I’ve never had sex, ya know! What do you think, Daddy?

Billy Ray: Oh, it would break my achy heart if you ever had sex, but I don’t mind if you get half naked for the world to see! YeeHawww!!

Miley: But what about all my little girl fans? Won’t they be upset?

Billy Ray: Naw, someday they’ll grow up to be hoes too, just like my little smiley girl!

Ummm, so yeah, that’s how I envision it. They claim it was an “artistic” pic, but let me tell you straight up that, as you know, I AM an artist and there’s nothing artist about taking a sweet and innocent 15 year old girl and teasing her hair, getting her topless and taking a photo for everyone to see. That’s called a Hannah Montana teen celebrity hoedown, Billy Ray style…